Keep It Simple, Stupid

It’s the beginning of February. By this time last year, I had already started up seeds for the garden. This year, I haven’t even bought seeds yet much less gotten seed pots together and potting soil. I learned some things last year about planting too early. And I also learned a harder lesson about putting too much pressure on myself. Looking back at the last 12 months I see a lot of stress-related health problems. The lion’s share of that have to do with a house move and my grandmother’s death, but I didn’t exactly help myself by piling on artificial obligations. I bit off more than I can chew, garden-wise and else-wise.

Once I got sick last summer I was no longer able to tend the garden, and even going out there to look at the overgrown mess made me hyperventilate with anxiety. In fact, it’s still a mess out there. Cleaning it up is on my to-do... but not high on my to-do. This winter hasn’t been easy health-wise, either.

So this year, I’m going to limit what I plant to things that have done well last year despite my neglect, and what everyone who lives here plants successfully. No cantaloupe. No tomatoes. No pumpkins. No bell peppers or eggplant.

What did well in my garden last year?

• Shelling peas
• zucchini
• cucumber
• fava beans (until the birds ate them)
• sunflowers
• strawberries
• alliums (garlic, onion)
• carrots
• beets
• radishes

What plants are planted in large quantities in this area?

• broccoli/cauliflower
• kale
• cabbage
• spinach
• salad greens
• chards
• herbs

So, there’s the list I’ll be picking from. I have 12 beds, some larger than others, some better situated than others. My goal is to have care-free annual flowers in at least 4 beds, maybe more. So I am going to limit my seed/plant purchases to 8 items or less. I’m still going to keep it fun - if there’s an oddly colored variety out there, I’m doing it. If there’s a goofy version, I’m doing it. But I’m doing it smaller this year. This is supposed to be fun, not overwhelming.

Here is the list of things on my “must have” list:

• shelling peas
• beets
• carrots
• sunflowers

It’s only 4 items long! Go me! I think I’ll do something in the cauliflower family - perhaps Romanesco, the fractal member of the family that still makes up a great Carnabeet Frita. And I still have all those garlic cloves in the fridge - I need to check if it’s okay to plant them in springtime or if I blew it and needed to plant them in the autumn. But whatever. That’s my mantra this growing season: whatever.

Grandma, I miss you

It's been years since I crocheted. And just as long since I knit. Once I got pregnant, I found I just couldn't do it any more. First of all, my hands can't take the repetitive motion of knitting... my fingers get very tired. Something about my finger joints changed permanently due to pregnancy. Crochet is a little better since much of the movement comes from the wrist. But the real problem is that I am multitasking too much already, and I can't keep track of where I am in a pattern. I used to be able to memorize a pattern's structure at the drop of a hat... but now that I am spread too thin it takes me much longer to incorporate the pattern into my mind. What used to be easy is now laborious, and I crochet and knit for pleasure, not to make myself miserable. So I have quite a yarn stash that is aging rather ungracefully in my garage.

I did crochet a shawl for my grandmother about three years ago. I am very glad I did it, even though I don't think she ever wore it. My grandmother passed away a year ago last December, and the gesture meant far more than the practicality of it.

In the last few weeks I've been bitten by the bug again. I learned to knit in graduate school, but I learned to crochet at my grandmother's knee when I was very young - I must have been around 6. I like the drape and stretch of knitted clothes, so I always considered crochet inferior which is why I learned to knit later in life. But there has been a real crochet renaissance as of late and the patterns have become increasingly sophisticated. Crochet is much more natural for me due to when I learned it, and I always feel like my grandmother is at my elbow when I am crocheting. I miss her terribly. So in these dark days of winter I have picked up the hook again and started a shawl for myself. My mother took the shawl I gave to my grandmother, so I must make myself one anew.

I am making myself the cover shawl from the Leisure Arts book Wonderful Wearable Wraps. Of course I am not crocheting to gauge because I can't be bothered figuring it out, and the wrap is done from the bottom up so it really doesn't matter. I am using cheap yarn, mostly because anything I'm really going to use must be machine washable these days - Lion Brand Wool-Ease in Oxford Grey. One skein will take you pretty far, which is nice. With the stash I've got, I don't really feel comfortable spending a fortune on a "break the ice" project like this.

After years of avoiding the place I signed up for Ravelry. But I'm not wet behind the ears. I'll be lucky if I finish the shawl, and even luckier if I start and finish anything else having to do with yarn in 2012. I've finally made my peace with half-finished projects and unrealized aspirations. I get enough other things done in my "real life" that I can let myself pretend for a little while that I will actually complete a yarn project. And I won't beat myself up too badly if I don't. I've gotten here (after decades of self-flagellation) not through being wonderfully insightful and grounded or even through good quality therapy, but via the realization that if I don't adopt this attitude, I cannot have my grandmother at my elbow any more.